If anyone knows me, they know that I do not have the greatest luck with cars (and no, it is not because I am a girl. Thank you very much). When I was 16, I got my first car and it was a 2005 Malibu. It had a white body, coffee-stained gray interior, and a sick scooby-doo sticker that was stuck to my steering wheel from the previous owner. This car endured many a’ road trip and stuck with me even after the many solo jam sessions (although I felt like Beyonce, I know for certain I did NOT sound like her). Oh, did I mention his name was Marley? Very important.
One winter afternoon I was driving Marley home from soccer practice and decided that I was going to play Nascar within my neighborhood. Long story short, I am not a Nascar driver, nor will I ever be. Sliding across the ice and into a street sign that was on the corner, I smashed Marley’s front left side. Ouch! This one wasn’t going to bode well with my parents and boy oh boy, was I right. Although I pleaded my case and cried my eyes nearly dry, my parents decided that Marley would not be worth fixing. So, for almost three years after the accident, I drove that guy around (mistakes and all).
It wasn’t until one day that I realized this: on that snowy afternoon, I put myself as the ultimate controller of my car. I put myself in control of the gas, the breaks, the steering wheel, and the lives of those that were in the car. What happened when I believed that I was in control of the car? I crashed.
I think we have all done or thought this way before. That by our strength, we can see ourselves through the day. That we do not need help from anyone. That through our might, our knowledge, and our pride; we can drive our lives.
But, listen if it’s okay, I’d like to share a little secret with you: you are not in control of your own life.
I know this firsthand and that is why God spoke to me one night when I was driving home from my university and said, “drop your sword. Trust in the armor of God.”
In Ephesians 6:10-18 my homie, the apostle Paul writes:
“13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”
First, I want you to understand what God was not telling me. He was not telling me, “ayo Danni. I think you should drop the word of God. It’s pretty cool and it’s got a ton of wisdom inside but like, let’s just throw it out. I don’t really like it anymore.” No. The Lord was not telling me that.
But, what He did tell me was that I should drop the literal sword that I have been clenching onto my whole life. The thing that holds me back from being vulnerable. The thing that constantly tells me that I have to be perfect and that no one else is struggling. That I can defend myself. That I am capable. That I can drive really fast around a corner, even though there is a pole in my view. That when I feel the slightest sense of harm, I have to hold my sword up and be quick to be defensive.
Maybe there is something controlling your life, right now. It could be paralyzing anxiety. It could be an addiction that started simply by curiosity. It could be lust. It could be fear. It could be pride. It could be jealousy. It could be your past mistakes. It could be comparison. It could be grades. It could your boss. It could be anything. And maybe you’re holding onto this sword or whatever controls you and you keep fighting with it. You keep coming back to it. You keep telling yourself that it’s not controlling you. That you can stop anytime. You are fine. There is nothing that you cannot do because you are capable.
And yes. You are strong and beautiful and wonderfully made but you cannot live in fear. I understand this, I thought I could do it alone, too. But if you keep fighting your own battles, you will only swat the air to miss the enemy. Only to end up weak, depleted, drained, and controlled by your fears. But listen to this, you are not alone.
Before you put on your clothes for the day or fake that smile or put on that make-up that you think you have to wear, the armor of God is bestowed upon you. And guess what, you wear that each and every day.
But, why is it that we put more trust into the sword than the armor? It’s almost as if we pretend that the armor is non-existent and that the sword is the only thing that we have. That we can fight our own battles and we can do life alone.
But, “I’m fine.” “It’s not a problem.” “I don’t need help.”
Oh really? So, what happens when your sword fails you? Because it will. What happens when you become too weak? Because you will. What happens when anxiety paralyzes you so much that you cannot even hold the sword up?
You will still win because why? Because you are wearing the armor of God. And regardless of your inabilities, He will equip you because you do not need to be the strongest or smartest person in the world to win. You just have to trust the armor and realize that you have always been wearing it.
Because when you fell into temptation or let your human desires take control of the wheel, He saw you through it. Regardless of whether or not you realized it.
If you place your faith, belief, confidence, and dependence on the armor — He will see you through this battle. He will help you endure and He will help you defeat.
“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
So, whatever you may be battling, let’s learn to trust in the armor of God. Let’s learn to drop our pride, our fears, our anxiety, our worries, and our doubts. Let’s learn to open up to other people, reveal our anxiety to God, and trust that He will see us through. Let’s pray. Let’s tell others our story. Let’s conquer these battles, together. For when we have faith the size of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. Not by our might, not by our will, not by our strength, and not by our confidence, but by His.
“When we clench our fists, we cannot received the Lords blessings.”
-Pastor Steven Furtick
When I hold my sword up to fight my battles and clench my fist around the handle, I lose, I crash my car, and I do not allow myself to receive His blessings. But when I drop my sword, open my hands, and trust in the armor of God, I conquer. And so can you. Not because we are perfect or equipped because believe me, this girl is the farthest from that but because we have faith that God will see us through.
Drop your sword. Trust in the armor of God.
Extra goodies that may be helpful to further express my thoughts: